


Attempt #37

by whythinktoomuch



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, and ends up with much more than she bargained for, i guess angsty?, lena tries to finagle a way to read people's minds to get back at kara, tho it's going to end in a place of mutual understanding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whythinktoomuch/pseuds/whythinktoomuch
Summary: Lena discovers a way to read people's mind, though of course, it doesn't seem to work on the one person whose mind she desperately wants to read.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 30
Kudos: 346





	1. Chapter 1

This was the 52nd formula that Lena had come up with, the 45th solution that had taken several hours to completely synthesize, but only the 37th time she would be injecting her shoulder with the resulting concoction.

The solution was bright green this time, which only made it seem all the more promising, despite the previous thirty-six attempts that had done little more than turn her stomach. At the very least, she had to be getting close now.

With the injection came a rush and some mild nausea that Lena had come to expect with these experiments, but everything else felt the same. For now. “Hope,” she called out, setting the syringe aside. “Think of a number between one and a million.”

Then, for the 37th time, Lena tried. She cleared her head, practiced the meditative mantras, stared intently into Eve’s eyes—bright blue, though blank with Hope’s quiet disinterest—and… nothing. Not a single digit came to mind.

No matter how hard Lena tried, the only thoughts in her head were her own.

Sighing to herself, Lena rolled her sleeve back down and directed Hope to log their latest attempt as yet another failure before storming off to start her day.

//

Lena emerged from the laboratory with her clothes wrinkled and dark circles sunken around her eyes, which was probably why the first thing she heard as she stepped out of the elevator was her personal assistant’s hushed commentary of, _Oh sweet Jesus, she looks tired._

“Oh, I’m well aware, Hector,” Lena said. “Nothing a little coffee can’t fix though.”

Hector stared at her blankly. “I’m sorry?”

“Never mind,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. She took the outstretched coffee in question as she walked by the assistant’s desk. “Just hold all my calls until the afternoon, please.”

This time, when Hector grumbled under his breath about _wow, she must be_ grumpy _too,_ Lena just ignored it. There were much better things for the CEO to tackle, after all—namely, some fitful sleep on her couch so that she’d at least be somewhat functional for the rest of the day.

A couple of coffees and some odd hours later, Lena was relatively well-rested, and she pored over her notes again, trying to pinpoint the exact variable she must have overlooked in her carelessness. Because by all accounts, the formula _should_ have worked—Lena had been certain of it. But then again, she’d admittedly thought that of almost every attempt thus far.

When Hector walked into her office at some point in the late afternoon with a handful of contracts to be signed, Lena felt no closer to the solution and a slight headache coming on about her temples.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Another coffee would be great,” Lena said, as she sifted through the documents, giving each one a cursory glance before signing.

“Oh my God, if she takes in any more caffeine, her heart’s going to _literally_ explode,” Hector muttered, apparently, to himself. “Well, maybe she won’t notice if I get her decaf instead…?”

Lena dropped the papers onto her desk with a scoff. “You know I can hear you, right?”

Hector appeared startled, which seemed rather appropriate until he slowly said, “So… was that a _yes_ on the espresso?”

“What?”

Hector maintained his slow cadence, carefully enunciating every syllable as if he were repeating himself, “Did you want to stick with your usual order… or maybe go with some a little stronger… as for example, an _espresso…_?”

But in a normal cadence, also in Hector’s voice and somehow clear as a bell in Lena’s head came, “If this woman doesn’t get another nap in _pronto,_ she’s going to drop dead, and everyone’s going to think I poisoned her coffee, because she’s _always_ in—”

Absolutely stunned, Lena continued to stare up at Hector in silence, eyes narrowing as the assistant’s slightly panicked voice droned on in her head. Until a louder remark broke through the reverie.

“Whoa, did she just fall asleep with her eyes _open?”_

Lena blinked quite obviously, and her mild shock was accompanied with a loud and clear, yet unspoken _Oh, thank God!_ from Hector.

But the Hector standing before her hadn’t moved his lips once, only watching the bewilderment play out on Lena’s face with some polite concern.

“The usual’s fine,” Lena interjected before her assistant could press again, or go down another panicky rabbit hole about her well-being. “Or the espresso, or whatever. I don’t care, as long as it’s still hot and caffeinated.”

“You got it,” Hector said.

“Mmmm, yeah, _definitely_ getting her decaf,” Hector thought as he turned to leave, but Lena hardly minded. She was too busy restructuring the rest of her day around this most exciting realization.

After some quick bit of arithmetic in her head, Lena set a timer on her watch for five hours, which was presumably the amount of time it would take for her body to break down the serum and render it useless. Then she logged on to her private interface and happily directed Hope to re-record attempt #37 as a success.

//

The ability to read minds was, quite simply, _quite_ the advantage.

Though it wasn’t so much “mind-reading” as mind- _receiving._ The serum seemed to have granted Lena access to the loud and active thought processes of everyone around her—their inner monologue, if you will, everything put into words but left unsaid.

Lena had been hoping for more, to be able to break into other people’s minds so as to hack secrets, determine why supposed close friends would ever betray her, and the like. Though maybe that would come with time and practice.

But as it turned out, there was rather plenty to be gleaned from the forefront of someone’s mind, as people often thought about the things they weren’t supposed to say before choosing more palatable means of expression. Which made the rest of Lena’s workday somewhat informative, if not a little fun.

For one thing, Lena found out that a lot more of her employees enjoyed working for her than she had previously thought. All of them respected her, several feared her, and quite fair few entertained invasive thoughts about her décolletage before swiftly directing their attention elsewhere.

She also found out that there was one board member in particular who liked to fudge the numbers during meetings, and that his face took on a very unappealing shade of off-white when Lena could inexplicably confront him with the _actual_ results of his findings.

But lastly and most importantly of all, what Lena found out was that… she actually enjoyed this heretofore inaccessible sense of control this ability afforded her. She had taken on the experiments with a very specific purpose in mind, but now, it was difficult to even imagine going back to how things were, even after the fact.

//

Lena walked into the DEO, and for the first time, the outpouring of distrust attached to the Luthor name was all but imagined. The disparaging thoughts followed her, even as the people who had them smiled or averted their eyes as she passed.

Nothing she wasn’t used to though.

Once Lena reached her destination, Alex’s voice slid into her head in a whisper— _uh… the hell?_ —one whole minute before she actually greeted her, “Lena, hey… Well, can’t say that I was expecting you.”

“Yes, that’s what it sounds like,” Lena mused, and Alex gave her a slight frown for it.

“So, did you need something?”

“Where’s Kara? I want to talk to her.”

Alex’s carefully composed face betrayed no emotion, but her thoughts sighed heavily, “Of _course…_ ” before ebbing away into something entirely indistinct and indecipherable.

Lena blinked. She hadn’t yet encountered anyone whose thoughts weren’t immediately accessible to her before. But here Alex was, giving directions to Kara’s current whereabouts, all the while muttering some underlying commentary in tones so hushed that Lena couldn’t quite make out any of it.

“… Is there something on my face?” Alex swiped her sleeve across her forehead. “What are you looking at?”

“What? No, _nothing,”_ Lena said brusquely. “Thank you for telling me where Kara is. Bye.” She turned on her heel, headed for the hallway that would eventually lead to the training room.

“Well, that was weird…” Alex’s voice drifted after her, a literal afterthought. “But I mean, I _guess_ she has a nice ass, so—”

Lena shot a dirty look over her shoulder, but Alex was already back on her computer, mind rattling off coordinates and running through tactical drills like a well-oiled machine.

//

Kara was wearing short shorts and a sports bra, panting, and absolutely drenched in sweat when Lena stepped foot into the training room. She looked over at Lena, her skin glistening in the dimmed green of the kryptonite-lined walls, and smiled wide.

“Oh, hey! What are you doing here?” Kara asked, giving the punching bag one last jab before tugging her gloves off. “Did something happen or…? I mean, not that I’m not happy to see you, of course.” She flashed Lena another bright grin before pressing a towel to her sweaty face and neck and chest.

It was enough to stop Lena in her tracks, and almost enough to put a damper on her plans. Almost.

“I need to talk to you,” Lena said evenly, eyes firmly glued to Kara’s forehead.

“Yeah, sure! Jeez… I’d give you a hug, but I’m like sweating in places I didn’t even know existed. Alex says that this is the only way to learn proper form and all, but _wow._ I can’t believe there are humans out there who actually do this for _fun—”_

_“Kara,”_ Lena cut in, lips pursing in exasperation. “I’m serious. We need to talk right now.”

Kara blinked, then slowly nodded. “Okay, yeah, let’s talk… You wanna sit down?”

“I prefer to stay standing.”

“Okay.” Kara remained standing as well, towel now crumpled in her hands. “So, what’s going on?”

Lena took a deep breath, quickly running through the practiced, meditative techniques meant to keep her mind clear and open, then asked, “Why did it take you so long to tell me you’re Supergirl?”

Kara’s shoulders sagged. “Lena, I…”

“No, why did it take three years? Why didn’t you trust me?” Lena continued, her pace steadfast and sure just like she had rehearsed. “I trusted you. I trusted you with every part of me, which is _incredibly_ difficult for me to do, and you just… didn’t care, I guess.”

“Of _course,_ I care. Lena… I never meant to hurt you,” Kara said, shaking her head. Her voice was loud, emphatic, and at the moment, the only thing Lena could hear.

“Don’t!” Lena snapped when Kara started to approach her. “Don’t come any closer. And stop talking! Just _listen.”_

Kara exhaled sharply through her nose and raised her hands in tentative surrender in absolute, utter silence. Lena even paused for a beat or two, just to see if any of Kara’s thoughts would breach the surface, but none did.

“Why couldn’t you just trust me, Kara?” Lena asked, and regrettably her voice trembled on the last syllable. “Why did I have to hear it from Lex?”

Kara’s eyes widened. “Lex? Lex told you before I did?”

“Shut up. Do _not_ talk,” Lena hissed out, waiting for Kara to snap her jaw shut before continuing with a bitter laugh, “Do you, do you even trust me _now…_?” Kara stared, gaze hardening. “And how do you expect me to trust _anything_ you have to say for yourself now?”

Lena’s questions—all of the above and beyond—were met with silence, strained only by the sound of Kara’s hard breath and Lena’s own thoughts.

Scoffing, Lena threw her hands up. “Do you even care that you hurt me?”

“… Can I talk now?” Kara demanded, seething like she had any right to it. But when Lena shook her head furiously, she held her tongue and apparently everything else as well, but Lena couldn’t hear a single damn thing.

When the alarm on her watch finally went off, Lena left, slamming the door on her way out. She contacted Hope through their private channel and had her re-log attempt #37 as just another failure.

Back to the fucking drawing board.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> attempts #38 and #39

Attempt #38 settled in Lena’s system with an incessant pulsing in her left temple and a wave of nausea so intense that bright spots briefly danced before her eyes. With a tightlipped grimace, Lena set down her syringe and gritted out, “Hope. A number between one and a million.”

“Yes, Miss Luthor.” 

And just like all the times before, Lena emptied her head of everything but the burgeoning migraine and stared into Hope’s politely unblinking eyes. But what had seemed so effortless with her employees and a few select others only a few days prior was proving impossible in a laboratory setting.

_Again._

“Goddammit.” Lena broke her gaze, digging a knuckle into that one spot on her head that seemed especially tender. “What the _hell_ am I missing here?”

She went back to her notes, re-examining her calculations yet again, because by all accounts, the effects should have been _stronger_ this time around. They made the changes, they gave it more time to develop, they even increased the dosage…

“Miss Luthor, if I may,” Hope calmly interjected. “Even with the previous iteration of the serum, you were unable to gain access to my thought processes, despite being otherwise successful.”

“Attempt #37 was a failure,” Lena said, without looking up.

“It may not have measured up to your expectations, but it did work on almost everyone else you encountered. Is there a chance that this ability is one that would only work on other humans, which could account for my immunity?”

Lena scowled, because of _course_ she had considered that. “But I’m not _trying_ to get it to work on humans. The point is to infiltrate a _super-_ human mind, and anything less would be a patent failure.”

“Understood,” Hope said with a single nod. “But a test run would still be the best course of action, given that an increase in your abilities might fall short with artificial intelligence, but prove enough to read the mind of one Kara Danvers.”

Lena took a pause to mull it over, then slowly set her notes aside. “Yes. That’s true,” she said, frowning at herself. “I feel like I should have thought of that.”

“You have slept an average of 2.52 hours a night for the past three nights, Miss Luthor,” Hope helpfully provided, and Lena was almost tired enough to snort.

//

With each floor the elevator climbed, more and more whispers found their way into Lena’s awareness. They were just snippets of internal monologues—mundane thoughts, facts and figures, the occasional flurry of swear words—but the chatter was constant and growing louder by the moment, and already, it was getting exhausting to parse through.

Just as the gradual influx of information started to inch toward something intolerable, Lena reached her floor. The very moment her eyes landed on Hector’s face, everything else— _thankfully_ —fell away for his silent commentary.

“Oh… That looks like a bad mood. Repeat: She’s in a bad _heckin’_ mood today, folks,” he chanted in his head, promptly banishing all the other voices into the backdrop of Lena’s conscious.

Listening to Hector frantically riffle through every bit of advice he had ever gleaned from Jess in their personal assistant groupchat, Lena stopped very deliberately at his desk. She smiled. And that simple act not only neutralized Hector’s rambling, but also sent an overwhelming wave of relief washing over her.

And… that was new.

“Good morning, Hector,” Lena said, tentatively reaching for her usual cup of coffee. “So… I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night”— _Understatement of the century,_ Hector’s inner voice practically sang—“so, I’d really like a fresh cup of coffee, when you get the chance.”

“Besides the one I already got you, you mean.”

Lena took a pointed sip from her cup. “Yes. Preferably a fresh pot, if possible. Again, whenever you get the chance, of course.”

“By _chance,_ she means right now, right?” Hector grumbled quietly in his head, before posing the exact same question aloud for Lena’s benefit. He said it in a far politer tone and language, but Lena could feel the wisps of irritability filtering through.

“Please and thank you,” Lena said very sweetly, striding into her office. And even with the shut door and the ever widening distance between them, she was able to hear Hector’s sigh of exasperation echoing in her head.

//

Things were slightly different with attempt #38, though it still made for an interesting enough workday.

Lena still heard her employees gossiping amongst and to themselves, still caught the occasional work-related fabrication that she took glee in correcting, still reveled in all the invisible particulars that she was now unfairly privy to.

But there was more—much, _much_ more—this time around.

People suddenly remembering they’re out of milk at home. A song they were singing in their head during an extended bathroom break. Stray bursts of laughter, interspersed with fervent uttering of _don’t laugh, don’t laugh…_ Evidently, boosting her mind-reading capabilities meant casting a wider net that yielded even the most mindless note to self.

Oh, and the feelings.

She was _definitely_ picking up on their feelings.

Everything from the mild anxiety of people waiting outside her office to the sharp flash of pride when someone a few floors down made an unexpected breakthrough on their project. Even the pure glee she felt at embarrassing that board member again was tempered with his shame that somehow burned just as brightly as her triumph.

As the day went on, it all became more and more wearisome, and by her umpteenth cup of coffee, Lena realized that her exhaustion—as heavy as it already was, and weighing all the more heavily by the passing minute—was actually being compounded by the fatigue of everyone around her. By noon, she was practically dead on her feet.

It was admittedly not the most pleasant experience for her, carrying the weight of her entire company in such an emotionally draining fashion. But it certainly spoke to the efficacy of her newest formula. Attempt #38 was already proving to be more of a success than her previous attempt ever was, which potentially could make it all worth it in the end.

Kara always had a harder time keeping her feelings in check anyway.

//

Lena waltzed into the DEO, breezing past the ripples of apprehension and distaste that cropped up with her entrance. She maintained her purposeful pace all throughout the building until a burst of white hot anger flared up, rendering everything else pale in comparison.

Alex stomped right on over, already swearing up a storm in Lena’s head, and snarled, “You can’t be here right now.”

Head tilted, Lena held her ground. “I just want to see her.”

The internal swearing only grew louder and more creative, and Alex planted herself squarely in front of Lena. “I think you’ve already said plenty to her, and if you don’t get the fuck out right now, I swear I’m going to—”

“Going to what?” Lena cut in, eyebrows raised high in question, despite knowing exactly and vividly all the things Alex would _love_ to do to her right now. “You and I both know that you can’t touch me.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that,” Alex said, her thoughts beating her uttered words barely by a millisecond. She grabbed Lena’s arm none too gently, clearly intent on ushering her right out of the building. And regretfully, the agent seemed not only determined—adrenaline a-pumping and rushing in her ears like a roaring current—but more than capable of doing so with ease.

Lena was about to make her case again when another voice chimed in, slipping right through the cracks of all the commotion, both in her head and not.

“… Lena?” came the tentative call, and Lena and Alex turned as one to see Supergirl and Brainy stepping into the room. Supergirl blinked, jaw clenching in a small frown. “What are you doing here?”

Wrenching her arm free from Alex’s reluctantly slackened grip, Lena made her way over, allowing her own anger to feed off the utter rage spilling free from Alex in the process.

Supergirl stayed put. She waited patiently for Lena to reach the appropriate distance for polite conversation before saying, “Hey, if you want to talk about what happened the other day…”

“You are— _by far—_ the worst thing that’s ever happened to me,” Lena spat out.

Everything came to a gradual, grinding halt, only to break like a crashing wave in Lena’s head.

No one said a thing.

Alex was just considering all the different cells in the bowels of the DEO that could potentially house Lena for the next couple of millennia or so. Brainy was determining the 237 different ways that he could have potentially avoided being present for such an uncomfortable exchange.

And Supergirl… was absolutely silent.

Her face became stone, eyes hardening beyond recognition, and just like that, Supergirl was now the furthest thing from Kara Danvers as could be. And still, through it all, she said not one word.

“Is it just me you don’t think about?” Lena demanded, exasperation bubbling over. “Or do you just not have _any_ thoughts in your head _ever?”_

Supergirl raised her chin, looked over Lena’s shoulder to address Alex directly, made some comment about a police chase unfolding somewhere downtown, and just left without a glance backwards. Like Lena wasn’t even there, and honestly, she might as well not have been, what with Supergirl’s utter lack of consideration for her.

“If you ever try to step foot in here again, you won’t make it two steps past the entrance,” Alex said, slowly, every syllable dripping in a threat that Lena could very much feel in her bones as genuine.

Understandable, though somewhat dramatic. Lena made sure to say as much before finally taking her own leave.

//

They needed to increase the dosage again, boost the effects of the serum to a level that she and Hope had long since concluded to be too dangerous for a mere human to withstand. But that was then. That was before Lena was still essentially powerless against the one person that truly mattered.

So, she did it. And she also overrode some of Hope’s built-in safety measures to get the AI to assist her in doing it.

Lena had to smother a gasp of pain when she injected herself this time, the rush of heat and nausea practically unbearable. The voices swarmed her straightaway, buckling her knees.

It took every meditative trick in the book, but Lena eventually managed to steady herself again, leaning heavily against a cool, steel table to stay upright. That’s when Hope’s questions started to register, her words of concern unmarked by any palpable concern as they inquired about Lena’s well-being.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Lena snapped, waving her hand impatiently. “Just think of a number. _Now.”_

“Yes _,_ Miss Luthor,” Hope said.

Lena wasn’t expecting much—she had no reason to. But just as she felt like they’d reached a proper cut-off point for such a preliminary test, she heard it.

A trickle of Hope’s voice, slinking in among all the rest.

“Should I end the test?” said Hope’s actual voice, and Lena shook her head furiously.

“No, wait… I’m actually getting something this time,” she said, frantic but _excited._ And it didn’t even matter how her headache was splitting at the seams, or that her stomach was clenched so as not to turn over on itself.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Lena chased after that single thread, somehow faint despite coming from the only person within arm’s reach of her. But little by little, all the other voices retreated, blurring into the backdrop and allowing for the one thing Lena was reaching for to come through… until finally, it did.

So faintly, so faraway, it finally came, “… _Please!_ Miss Luthor, please let me out! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again. Please just—”

Lena snapped her eyes open, and the rest of the world came crashing back to her reality, doubled in sound and presence from the brief absence. But none of that mattered because Hope— _Eve’s_ terror-stricken tone would now be a permanent brand on her conscious.

She could hear everything now.

Clutching at her head with her teeth gritted, Lena fell to her knees without meaning to. The roaring in her ears redefined what it meant to be utterly overwhelming, and there was only one voice she could make any sense of in the swirling cacophony of it all. Lena looked up, saw Hope’s mouth moving, contradicting Eve’s pleading with her politely blank expression, no doubt to inquire about her well-being again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheh


End file.
